the wind carrying snow

 MA Yi, Feifei triumphantly Durian aimlessly with my thoughts, drifting into the distant sky, flying past years, a father of many old things from my memories float to the surface layers.
in my memory, the father's face like a cloud of lead normal winter, with long dark, rarely seen smile. When his father from work home about midnight, a man put away the joy and joking, in a tense atmosphere among the first to pack the house neat, after the mother was busy cooking, the children pick up the book learning. This contrast occurs within a few minutes, because people want to hear a father yelled and shouting.
trembling me the most is that each semester, the school for each student a copy of the above there is not only academic conduct reviews. When the father see the results and reviews unhappy, they will curse up rage, or even impose fist. often linked to mouth the words to his father: bastard kid, do not study hard, go with your grandfather farming!. and wrote a conduct reviews. When I immersive an abyss to the a scold. My father did not solutions of the hate, so in the understand that is so kind and gentle mother, the father is so cruel and cold. I feel the atmosphere in the absence of fatherly love growing up, my childhood living in the condemning of the long. the exchange between father and son is almost a blank. until I went to high school, because of academic excellence, and rarely scolded by his father, but still remain in the hearts of lingering fear, create a sense of fear seems to have become a conditioned reflex, as long as the presence of his father, and my heart to fear, to cowardice, to fear.
father joined the revolution of 1949 work, organized by the Communist Party school Chahar revolutionary cadres trained, dispatched to the dam area Shangdu work. father, although only primary school education , liberated way place in the remote areas of business are regarded as intellectuals, cadres and the county can speak and write, and soon became the secretary of the district government, district government system administration. Magistrate LI Zhi-smart and very appreciated by his father's talent and learning, before and after the two proposed that the father raised the mayor for the county towns, County Procuratorate Deputy Attorney General, but all were rejected at higher levels. why is his father's father, my grandfather, had been acting as pseudo-Puppet Police Commissioner. After the liberation of many landlords, counter-revolutionary history was executed. grandfather of the war to help the county more than a thousand Communist puppet Baochang incorporated, so in the Thomas Edward County farm.
few decades, the father of their children in the history of counter-revolution under the shadow of fear to work with. the early fifties of last century, more liberal political environment, his father was appointed to both the county veterinary Zhanfuzhanchang, animal long hospital staff, the equivalent of stock-level cadres. With the number of years, the string class struggle, more and more tightly stretched, line more and more dutiful son, a difficult period of beggars, he received a grandmother from Zhangjiakou Shangdu Chikangyancai tide over the crisis .1962 grandmother died in his father, the eldest son should go to funerals, but in the extreme left's points The father was actually killed. in high school to apply to join the party or write a piece of self, I always tried to counter-revolutionary grandfather and history to draw a line. In fact, I just saw in early childhood when his grandfather, ten years later, he gave me the impression that long gone, but I still believe that deep down in my soul grandfather a class of people to criticize, to prove their ideology for progress, politically drawn a line. In my mind pure and naive ingrained bears the word is I hesitate to argue that his father not to go to funerals. This is no doubt in my mind the trauma of his father rubbed a handful of salt. father lying on the kang, his arms resting on the orbit, and shedding tears of pain, Chung Hsiao really can not co-existence, he heart is in pain, bleeding. Fortunately, his father's boss fairly reasonable, agreed to attend a funeral of his mother.
grandmother died two years later, his grandfather has passed away. At the time, his father-level officials of the rank of head of stock have been removed, in which he tragically give me wrote: Grief and regret not going to become his whole life the pain will never fade away.
grandfather died two years later, an even greater disaster fell on his father's head. reach the human soul and the flesh of the , plunged the country into the abyss, the people suffer. father was beaten into The front of the fire In the Book of Songs or bad, Simon's upside down, was trampled beyond recognition. no human nature, lack of care, interpersonal struggles and merciless only cruel blow. Although his father survived the brutal years, saw the disastrous ; the destruction, but the body deteriorated eventually suffer from an incurable disease. to his father robust physique, and the toughness to bite the bullet, if not the up, when the father is also pleasant.
for the first time in 1960, my older brother and younger brother also admitted to the university, his father excited, he even picked up a pen to write a manuscript to the newspaper, entitled Two students out of my house. Well, was canceled correspondent status, forced to have to drop-pen. hope this time he knows the manuscript published in the paper, still carefully written, literally change. He feels that he has no future, and hopes the next generation to succeed, Lide meritorious. Big Brother school food is not met soon after the famine years to fill its belly. Shangdu six students admitted to Tangshan, dropped out of five drop-out, Big Brother also had edema disease, but the insistence of his father, brother endured hunger, never dropped. just remember every summer vacation, my mother gave brother do a lot of dry food to school eat, the food is the whole family eat plant, is a senior engineer, he served as Deputy Director of Supply and Marketing.
second was in 1963, I have to business school as the first name of champion admitted to Tianjin University. father exclaimed, twisted brow decades stretch up Jiaoren face flashed from time to time imperceptible smile, people in business are the envy of the brisk walk in the street, as if he himself admitted to the University is also more than pleased. Then, I silently thought, no matter if the book ; Golden House fall, the father with the thousands of miles away, with his father to share the joy of victory.